How I get Rid of Message Anxiety

Sometimes, I get anxious because I see people not replying to my messages, and the anxiety that used to come with that used to be a lot more severe—to the point where I would even text one of my best friends Vickey, about it, and she had to comfort me with the advice of “people are busy”. I understand that people are busy, but because we have grown to possess the expectation of things appearing in our lives at an instant, our patience grow thin and we don’t leave room for people to think, as we expect things to appear and we receive information in an instant. Even though my response to this has been different, it has made me realize how much of my life depends on the reaction of different people too shat I have to say. Sometimes, I say what I need to say, hoping to receive a response from what I need to hear immediately, but somehow, I have changed into a person who cannot even wait for ten minutes for a response. I sometimes don’t even know how to respond, so I just comfort myself by thinking that when they don’t reply, it is “World Let’s-Not-Reply-to-Margaret’s-Messages Day”. Those days occur once or twice a week, sometimes a little les often, but usually, when I think this way, I somehow still end up daydreaming about the endless possibilities of what would happen next with the message I just sent through. It could be that I am simply an anxious person, or I just care too much about what people say about me and what I do.

Sometimes, I feel like I am on top of the world, and another moment, I just want to hide within the shadows of my own depression. When that happens, anything that has happened in my life does not matter anymore. However, even this “bipolar” symptom is sometimes what I crave—anything that happens around me will not affect my mood and how I feel. I know this might seem weird, but I just hope that one day, I can live without caring about what others think, and not rely on others to make my day.